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#Goals

9/17/2018

10 Comments

 
​You’ve likely seen the hashtag. Besides just plain-old #goals we have things like “#relationshipgoals,” “#fashiongoals,” and of course we can’t forget, “#closetgoals.” I’ve been thinking about goal-setting a lot lately, partly because it keeps coming up as a topic in my work with clients (it’s weird how these things seem to come in waves), and partly because I recently set a big goal of my own.

Some people like to use that SMART method for goal-setting. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound). That works pretty well when you’re starting out learning, or refining your technique. But when I first got the inkling and defined my big goal, I decided to quietly put it out to the universe, do my best to keep my mouth shut about it, and get busy. Talking incessantly about my goals often backfires on me, and there’s even some evidence to suggest why that is.

Some of my clients have given up on setting goals because pretty much everything they think about doing seems like good intentions that never happen (think getting that garage or basement finally cleared out). Or some avoid goals because they might happen - then they would be successful, and being successful means change (“OMG, what now??”). Some clients don't ever set them at all, because the concept has never been discussed or taught. It doesn’t occur to them, it’s not on their radar. Or for some people, perhaps goals just sound too much like work.

Some experts suggest you should never set goals, because the minute you do you self-sabotage your way out of achieving them (like New Year’s resolutions). So if you just DO all the time without thinking too hard about the future, you’ll be better off. But will that always work? Being in the moment certainly has advantages, but perhaps it’s more a matter of what word we use to define how we want to go about accomplishing something.

From Merriam-Webster: 

Definition of goal

1. the end toward which effort is directed: aim 
The end. Hmmm. Sounds pretty final to me, and sort of discounts the infinitely valuable journey. If “goal” doesn’t work, what word could? I’m open to suggestions.

The magnitude and gravity of goals can shift and change over time, and depending upon needs. One month you might have a goal to start drinking more water and leave it at that. Next January you might aspire to spend the year gradually purging and preparing your home for sale so that you can downsize - a goal that would require more planning, checking in, reminding (like lots of mini-goals). In either scenario, how do you begin without some sort of an end in mind?  I think where we often go off track is in letting the process get in the way of the product. It can be a little intoxicating to walk through some new way of accomplishing something, checking things off of the latest list app, shopping for a shiny new planner. If those things help, fine. But if they aren’t supportive of you actually working through and making it to that final “whatever,” they’re just more window dressing.

I do like to have a road map for things. When you’re setting a course for a particular location, it’s helpful to have some idea of how to get there. If you use a mapping app with GPS, you often see two or three choices of how to get to your destination - with highways, without tolls, etc. - choosing your route depends upon the time or money you have to spend, the level of curiosity you have, maybe even what kind of shape your “vehicle” is in.

Is there value in throwing the map away occasionally and just wandering around to see what you might find? Sure. You might stumble across things you would never have seen or considered otherwise. It was interesting (at least to me), when I started writing this post I didn’t have a particular destination in mind. I just knew that the “goals” thing seemed to keep popping up in conversation, in thought, and in various media I was reading, so why not explore it a little bit and see where it took me?

I think it’s taken me here:

- Call them whatever you want, but there are definitely times and situations where goals are appropriate.

- There is a difference between a Big Goal and the steps required to accomplish it. The steps, in and of themselves, can also be goals.

- Writing, brainstorming, talking, listing, and planning can be helpful (but not always essential).

- None of any of the above matters without taking action.

And finally, there's an idea or inspiration, a journey (with or without a plan and cool tools), and a conclusion - whether a goal is achieved fully, or partially, or not at all. 
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10 Comments
Janet Barclay link
9/17/2018 08:04:55 am

I love this post, and the part I like the best is where you talk about the GPS. There are of course many different ways we can work towards our goals, so we have to consider how much time, money, and energy we want to spend in order to get there. Brilliant!

Reply
Sara
9/18/2018 06:53:30 am

Thanks, Janet. The GPS idea didn't come to me until I "wandered around a bit" with my goal-seeking. ;-)

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Diane Quintana link
9/17/2018 08:35:36 am

Goals are huge for me. I have daily goals, weekly, and monthly goals. I like the way you talked about the steps taken to achieve a big goal are, in fact, goals. I don't sit down and say, ' these are my goals today' I just make a list of what I want to accomplish for the day and at the end of the day I evaluate what I have done - I have always done something to celebrate.

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Sara
9/18/2018 06:54:23 am

Ah, I like the idea of celebrating - much better than feeling like you have to reward yourself each time you accomplish something. Thanks for the comment!

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Linda Samuels link
9/17/2018 09:01:23 am

What a great post! I am very goal oriented, but I'm not always formal about how I achieve those goals. And I notice with clients too, they vary in terms of how much flexibility they like in working towards goals. Truthfully, I think flexibility is the key. There's also value in appreciating the journey, whether we make it to the "end" or not. If we're lucky, there's learning along the way and even re-direction. The "end" might change. Or the journey might take us in a different direction.

With all of that said, I am a big believer in writing down goals. There is a power to stating them somewhere that once written, I find actions needed to achieve them are most easily set in motion.

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Sara
9/18/2018 07:03:09 am

Hi Linda - yes, flexibility is key. I like your concept of "redirection" too, kind of like when we're driving somewhere and Siri tells us that there's been a change and there's a faster route or detour ahead. You can choose the new route, or go somewhere else entirely! Thanks for stopping by...

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Seana Turner link
9/17/2018 09:14:12 am

I happen to be a believer in goals. Some of my goals are broad and ill-defined, while others are tactical and pressing. I think it can be helpful to know yourself when it comes to goals. If setting a goal results in it immediately going into a black hole, you may want to shift your thinking. At the end of the days, goals are things we move towards. We all take steps each day, so it helps me to think about the direction I will go with my next step.

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Sara
9/18/2018 07:07:50 am

Yes, knowing ourselves first is so important. Knowing that I don't do well if I tell a lot of other people about a big goal is one way I put that into practice. The whole idea of putting my goals out on social media or in groups for accountability really repels me for some reason. I guess it doesn't matter why, as long as I know that's the way it works! Thanks for the comment.

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Kim link
9/17/2018 08:48:33 pm

I really love working on goals and feel pretty determined and positive most of the time. It really helps for me to be accountable to others and I almost always do what I say I am going to do.
I need to work on the steps that lead up to my own personal goals though. I love your point about what if I succeed with this goal. It is easy to sabotage ourselves and then the worry of What is next? Change is scary. A great post :)

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Sara
9/18/2018 07:10:59 am

Thanks for the kind words, Kim. Change IS scary, but I think it's always worth it in the end if we can stay the course.

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    Sara Skillen - Certified Professional Organizer®, Certified Organizer Coach®, wife, mom, dog-lover, author.  Learning to trust my intuition more every day. Shall we work together?

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