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Calendar Rituals

4/10/2018

8 Comments

 
When I was growing up, my mother had a habit of keeping a paper calendar on the kitchen counter right underneath where the phone hung on the wall. These paper calendars were nothing fancy. They were the spiral-bound sort with the random scenery depicting each month on top and the dates below, but she never hung them up - so you never saw the pictures except when changing the month.  I don’t think she ever even bought them. They miraculously appeared from the neighborhood real estate agent, or her garden club, or the water company. Every doctor's appointment, meeting, “ladies lunch,” seed planting, and road trip was recorded in her unusual, scrawling handwriting on the small squares (she injured her hand in a freak gardening accident when I was small - don’t ask). She lived and breathed by its authority on our schedule.

She never carried this calendar with her anywhere, because she looked at it so often she never needed to. She did keep one of those smaller freebie ones from Hallmark in her purse - always blank - just to check things like whether or not the 4th of July fell on a Saturday, etc.  Because, you know, that kind of stuff was critical in identifying your place in the timeline of life. Sometimes I would see her after a phone call or a church circle meeting working through that kitchen calendar with her readers perched on her nose, adding things weeks/months ahead of time to the squares, scratching others out. Always, always planning, and always aware of what was coming up and what had already happened.

Pretty much as soon as I learned to write, she asked me to put my activities wherever they belonged on the squares. Between the piano lessons and children's choir and eventually band practices the squares got really crowded, but soon I too was in the habit of routinely staring at them for guidance. Daily. I knew my parents’ schedules as well I knew my own. Sometimes I would add a weird doodle or other graffiti I had created on a random date a few months out, just to harass her. But otherwise, the calendar was sacred. My mother's pulling me into that ritual unwittingly left a mark that I don’t think I fully appreciated until recently.

We are now perplexed about how to handle our calendars if, for example, we prefer paper and much of the world revolves around digital. I routinely witness people get all apologetic when they pull out their paper planner as if they had just produced a folding road map or a slide rule. And really, those planners work great…at least until we forget them in the car, or lose them on a trip. Digital calendars have their own challenges when platforms don’t sync, like when you’re a freelancer on Google and your biggest client uses Outlook. Or when your phone won’t “talk” to your computer. We've all gotten meeting requests via email and when we click to accept we get a broken link or a blank page - leading to additional steps we didn’t want to take.

There are no perfect solutions, of course, only good ones. Would it surprise you to know that I keep both a digital and paper calendar? Perhaps no, but the reason has nothing to do with not being able to make up my mind or being incredibly anal about time management. I started using a digital calendar in October of 2008. 
PictureLooks like it was quite a bit less complicated back then.
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The digital calendar is how I run business and family life now (yeah, different areas are color-coded), and I share calendars with my husband who is on the same format. It has worked seamlessly for ten years - why mess with success?  Recently, though, I did get intrigued with the idea of writing in a planner again. For posterity, I actually kept the last paper planner I ever used as sort of a relic in my file drawer (that is also now becoming somewhat obsolete).  I took a look back at it recently.

I’ve always missed parts of the paper calendar ritual, so I did a little searching and found one I liked back in January (if you're curious, it's The Simple Elephant).  This “analog” planner has spaces for goal setting, review of weekly, monthly, and yearly projects, a little journaling space - even a page just for a mind map. You can fill in dates as you go, so there’s no worrying about wasting space if you start after January, or skip a week. And you know, planner does not necessarily equal calendar.  I use this planner in a totally different way from the digital one, only pulling it out once a week for review and reflection. It has broad categories of events as opposed to exact times, and it anchors me to the process of goal management. Summarized, the whole ritual for me looks like:

 Digital calendar
  • All appointments input as soon as they are scheduled (or changed)
  • Business in green, family in purple, reminders in navy
  • Synced between my laptop, phone, and watch (helps that they're all Mac/iOS)
  • Agenda for the day automatically sent to my email (feature in Google calendar)
  • Day and week reviewed every morning - not just to get where I need to be, but also think through tasks related to appointments

Paper planner
  • Reviewed/updated only on Sunday mornings
  • Filled in with goals and big projects at the beginning of the year
  • Each week filled in broadly (no times or exact details, just names or places)
  • Accomplishments and weaknesses noted
  • Journaling on goals as needed

None of this takes as long as it may sound - maybe, I don't know 10-15 minutes max a day? Between the two methods, I’ve found a groove that has not only kept me on top of appointments, but making steady progress on my theme for the year. Is it foolproof? No, but it’s close enough for me to feel comfortable and productive. You might choose a totally different ritual, but it pays to have one, and it doesn’t matter what the format is (or if it changes over time). The key is to work with it, look at it, and use it to your advantage. 

Thanks, Mom. 

8 Comments
Seana Turner link
6/3/2019 07:09:59 am

I visited my mother this weekend and she still has her free, spiral-bound paper calendar on the counter next to the phone. Exactly the same system:) I use a paper planner and love it. I call it my "second brain," and I just enjoy holding it, taking notes, having place to temporarily place business cards and appointment cards. That said, I completely agree that both paper and digital systems can work, as long as you use them faithfully!

Reply
Sara
6/3/2019 09:41:29 am

Yes, I missed the feel of a paper system as well. There's something about writing with just the right kind of pen that is satisfying and helpful.

Reply
Diane Quintana link
6/3/2019 07:21:04 am

I am a paper planner/calendar person. I look at my digital calendar but have not gotten in the habit of really using it - other than to know that the 4th of July is a Thursday this year! I agree with you - it's best to have a system and then use it regularly. What ever works is best!

Reply
Sara
6/3/2019 09:42:19 am

Thanks for the comment, Diane. And for the reminder that the 4th is on a Thursday - I see a long weekend in my future. ;-)

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Sabrina Quairoli link
6/3/2019 08:16:11 am

I use both, paper and digital. My digital planner has recurring and unique appointments for the future. I then refer to that to create my paper planner for the week. I created my own customized planner daily pages so that it is exactly what I want. Each week I update it then print it out and place it in my disc planner to use during the week. I like the paper planner better but it helps having to print it out instead of handwriting everything that is repeated each day.

Reply
Sara
6/3/2019 09:43:53 am

Lots of paper planner users here today! I love the idea of creating customized pages, and I have one client who does something very similar. As always, there is no one "right" way for everyone. Thanks, Sabrina!

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Linda Samuels link
6/3/2019 09:54:49 am

I enjoyed reading about your mom's method for managing her time and keeping track of life. But more than that, I love how her influence has helped you create your own ways of working your time, goals, and plans. You had a solid beginning and great modeler for time management.

At this point, I've gone digital for scheduling and task management. It took me a while to make the switch because I too, loved the feeling of writing on paper. And I also think it helped me assimilate things more deeply.

However, for journaling and initial project planning, I usually write using a pen and paper. The main point is to figure out what works and have confidence in that system. As we know, there isn't one way or system. It's whatever works for you.

Reply
Janet Schiesl link
6/4/2019 06:25:54 am

I had the same experience growing up. That's what was available. You are right in that now with options you have to decide what will work best for you. I love using a digital calendar, but it took some changes to make it work.

Reply



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